Flame Everlasting
Last night we lay in each other's arms, my room lightly lit by the faint light protruding through the shirt I had hung over my laptop. I do not know why I keep it on at all times; maybe the slow hum of its overheating hard drive reminds me that I am still alive, or maybe it's the comfort of having light in my life. Either way, the droning sound heightened the passionate atmosphere.
In that moment, I felt as though nothing could go wrong in my life. I felt whole; as though the past had somehow written itself out. I felt as though all the barriers which separated our two worlds had been broken. I wanted that moment to last forever.
Forever.
The word that frightens me most. I have said many a time over the past two years that I am ready to tap out of 'the game' and settle down, embrace monogamy and devote my everything to that one special woman who I will hail from mountaintops as my one and only; but the mere thought of commitment scares me. Though as I lay there in her bare arms, the world completely shut out with all the time in it at our disposal, I found myself shaking with anticipation at the promise our union presents. I found myself melting with every stroke of her hand down the length of my arm, yearning with every gasp to be closer to her than the law of physics allows for. She kissed me, my heart racing uncontrollably, sweat streaming down my brow as her body pressed further into mine -our combined musty scents earned through the day's toil filled my nostrils, sending trickles of pleasure streaming through my entire nervous system. And in that moment I knew that all my fears, all my apprehension and all my insecurities were foolhardy and immature. I knew that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her.
I stirred two hours later. It was still dark outside. Time stood still and I felt as though the night would last forever ... I wished beyond all measure that it would. My dream is a blur. I woke and regretted falling asleep. She stirred, reached for my hand and pulled my arm around her as she sunk further into me. Our breathing intensified as my lips met her bare neck and her sighs filled the darkness with a song that knows no sadness and strums no pain; a melodic, rhythmic tune more beautiful than any orchestral chorus. We lay there in my dim-lit room engulfed by love in all its purity; content.
Outside, the birds woke - their chirps hurling us both back to reality. Hours passed and the magic had subsided, replaced by the cold, bitter reality of her temper. My heart broken by her sudden and inexplicable rage, I left our haven in search of solace. I returned to find her where I had left her - sadness in her eyes. I sat behind her and lit a cigarette. She turned, fixed her gaze to mine and crawled into my arms once more, all traces of her anger and previous agitation gone. I looked into her eyes and remembered everything: the passion, her warmth, her shaky voice as she breathed her vow of love into my ear. In that moment I remembered why it was all worth it.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life by her side; feeling her in my arms, pressing my lips to hers and falling asleep on her warm chest to the pounding of her heart ...
She left. Now, I wait.
In that moment, I felt as though nothing could go wrong in my life. I felt whole; as though the past had somehow written itself out. I felt as though all the barriers which separated our two worlds had been broken. I wanted that moment to last forever.
Forever.
The word that frightens me most. I have said many a time over the past two years that I am ready to tap out of 'the game' and settle down, embrace monogamy and devote my everything to that one special woman who I will hail from mountaintops as my one and only; but the mere thought of commitment scares me. Though as I lay there in her bare arms, the world completely shut out with all the time in it at our disposal, I found myself shaking with anticipation at the promise our union presents. I found myself melting with every stroke of her hand down the length of my arm, yearning with every gasp to be closer to her than the law of physics allows for. She kissed me, my heart racing uncontrollably, sweat streaming down my brow as her body pressed further into mine -our combined musty scents earned through the day's toil filled my nostrils, sending trickles of pleasure streaming through my entire nervous system. And in that moment I knew that all my fears, all my apprehension and all my insecurities were foolhardy and immature. I knew that I was ready to spend the rest of my life with her.
I stirred two hours later. It was still dark outside. Time stood still and I felt as though the night would last forever ... I wished beyond all measure that it would. My dream is a blur. I woke and regretted falling asleep. She stirred, reached for my hand and pulled my arm around her as she sunk further into me. Our breathing intensified as my lips met her bare neck and her sighs filled the darkness with a song that knows no sadness and strums no pain; a melodic, rhythmic tune more beautiful than any orchestral chorus. We lay there in my dim-lit room engulfed by love in all its purity; content.
Outside, the birds woke - their chirps hurling us both back to reality. Hours passed and the magic had subsided, replaced by the cold, bitter reality of her temper. My heart broken by her sudden and inexplicable rage, I left our haven in search of solace. I returned to find her where I had left her - sadness in her eyes. I sat behind her and lit a cigarette. She turned, fixed her gaze to mine and crawled into my arms once more, all traces of her anger and previous agitation gone. I looked into her eyes and remembered everything: the passion, her warmth, her shaky voice as she breathed her vow of love into my ear. In that moment I remembered why it was all worth it.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life by her side; feeling her in my arms, pressing my lips to hers and falling asleep on her warm chest to the pounding of her heart ...
She left. Now, I wait.
Great piece LeAwesomish
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