Reminding her, Remaining him - Kote
There's
always wind. That day, it was gentle. Gentle, Leo remembered. And
it had carried a faint scent of some or other especially sweet flower. The wind
blew Nadine's hair into his face as she rested her own against his chest. She
felt it heave as he inhaled. Deep Breath. The smell of her shampoo
reminded him of a memory, but he wasn't sure which. He wished he had kissed
her. But he understood why he couldn't. There had once been a time when he
would have. But now he couldn't. And so he simply allowed himself to melt as
deep into her embrace as he could. He wondered if she could feel everything he
was experiencing. He closed his eyes as hers opened and closed again. She let
herself sink into his arms. She wished he would kiss her. She pulled him closer
and wished that he could somehow hear her thoughts. Kiss me, she
thought over and over again. She knew he wouldn't. Something told her that he
would soon enough, but she knew he wouldn't have done it then. She smiled, and
wondered if Leo was doing the same. He caught himself smiling as he realized
that they had been standing there for far too long. Five more seconds he
said to himself.
Slowly,
he withdrew from the hug as she instinctively did the same. Neither one of them
voiced what bliss each had experienced. A light conversation followed by a
prolonged goodbye, and Nadine was gone. He walked away, but couldn't help
himself, and so he stole a glance back at her. She's beautiful, he thought.
The
kettle stopped boiling. Clink. A teaspoon of sugar. Clink.
Clink. Clink. A stir. Leo sat down and stared at the wall. At moments like
these, where he finally found stillness, that is when the world would come to
life around him. He would sit and watch and imagine. He imagined Nadine. There
was always Nadine. He imagined she was there with him. It would be morning. He
would stir from a beautiful dream, and wake up to one even more so. She would
curl up deeper into his arms. He would melt into her, feel her skin against
his. A shiver. The imagining ends. Leo takes a sip of tea and
closes his eyes. He takes another and methodically places the cup down beside
him. Before he knows it, his mind drifts. There's wind. There's always wind. A
chilly, dry breeze blows through his one window and out the other, creating a
continuous draft through the room. The wall blurred into darkness.
The
moon was beautiful, Nadine thought. If everyone could see the moon, then surely
he could too, she told herself. A shooting star. Nadine smiled. She
wondered if he was thinking of her too. Nadine remembered the first time. It
had been unexpected. She had just finished studying. Swoosh.
Through the library doors. There were books in her arms. She knew she had to
read them, but there was a world out there to conquer, and surely it was there
that she would learn most, among strangers in new, strange lands. Possibly even
love, she remembered thinking. She had no idea that it was closer than she
ever imagined it would be. She remembered saying hello as she passed him by. He
bowed. She smiled. She almost missed it. They say to seize the day, to live for
every moment and to listen to the Universe. They say to pay attention to the
small gestures, and so she turned around. He stopped. She wrapped her arms
around him. He was warm. He was big and hairy, but gentle and especially ...
warm.
She
held him and she knew she wished to never let go. But she did. He spoke, and it
was music. She saw his revolution. A cigarette. She saw the fire
burn in his eyes; she saw his utopia. She wondered if he could see her soul
dance. She listened. He spoke with passion of a time that would come when the
world knew happiness. He painted around the black, the white and the grey with
bright colours that she never imagined could work so beautifully together. She
saw his heart, and she wished to keep it. He walked her home. She wanted sorely
to hold his hand. He turned and he smiled. He has beautiful eyes. She saw in
them a sincerity she had not seen in a while. Rustle. It was
getting late. He wanted to say something. She could see it in his eyes. He
wanted to say something, but he didn't. She knew he wouldn't. Rustle.
There was wind. There was always wind. And now, there was Leo.
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