An open letter to a Friend

Hey, Malaika Mahlatsi

This is long. I'm writing this part having just finished writing the bulk of this letter. Allow me to thank you for your time in advance. Have a cup of tea and get comfortable.

Namaste

I have a message to share. But for it to be heard I first have to get a piece of paper to say that what I'm sharing is the truth. It's the truth that at this very moment those who aren't still reading are being conditioned by the system right now. We'll try reach out to them again later on. It's a promise. We're being conditioned. Even at this moment as your eyes are reading this here word, conditioning is taking place. That's reality.

You can keep reading, or you can scroll on by. I'm simply sharing my thoughts. Full transparency, this may be a lengthy post. Or it may not be any longer than what it already is.

If you're still reading, I just read a rather beautifully written email telling of all the really cool things that come with academia. You get to teach your ideology. I love that life. Although I don't feel it's entirely fair in the grander scheme of things.

The reality is that academia is expensive. At the end of the day, this shit costs a lot of fucking money. I'm in debt, unemployed and there is nothing I can do about it right now because I don't have a degree or a diploma or a certificate.

I feel we're being kept preoccupied with minors or 'arbs' and shit that's not all that related to why we're here. I came here to become a journalist, accomplished.Oh, I'm qualified to be a journalist right now. However I need to wait until I have obtained a piece of paper to validate me before I can start making money from it to pay back my student loan. It's deep. So I'm still here. I'm not complaining. I'm writing art. It's amazing. And the best part is that I'm not creating it per se; I'm simply a part of a moving thought which at this very moment is bringing to peace many whose hearts were once made to feel pain. Our people have been humiliated. This is true. None of the atrocities of the past should harm us today, this thought says.

This thought is progression. It is written. It is sung. It is played. It's our art to share.

But I have classics lectures and tuts and English lectures and tuts (Okay, I enjoy English a lot now that I get it - but REALLY? REGISTER? DP REQUIREMENTS? What the fucking fuck, man?! I'm PAYING for this shit. I'm a client! Why on God's good earth am I being oppressed? It's really not kosher at all!)

Tangent aside, that's how I feel about my reality. I came here to become a master of my craft, not to get a degree. I feel many of us are duped into signing away our immediate futures to 'the institution' - the perpetuator of the ideology which suggests that we are any less than what we are as people; and that's really insulting, I feel. I mean, it's really not fair that I was sold a lie, bought it, and now I'm being told that I signed a contract.

And here is the really funny thing. Leaving becomes a moral question, because the money I used to pay for this is not mine. It belongs to Absa. They don't care where I get it from. They want their money back. The time I could be using perfecting my craft is the time I spend worrying about making it to a lecture, then sitting in that lecture day dreaming about all the great things I wish to do as soon as I have my degree. Why aren't I doing them now? Because there are lectures and deadlines and we paid for this shit, so we can't complain. We signed for it, so they own our souls too. A double whammy.

I do hope you're still reading. I hope I'm not too boring. To put you at ease, this entire exchange will be recorded.

Anyway, I don't feel I'm naive or anything. I am of the belief that we can simply see it all another way. The system needn't be an oppressor. It can be used to our advantage. That is why I'm still here. I'm registered for drama, but it goes way deeper than that. And this is my point. We all have something going on far deeper than what we registered for, and I feel we should be guided along the path of realizing our dreams as opposed to being conned into a 7:40 - 5:35 or whatever system where we're preoccupied with nonsense sometimes. I mean, not all the courses we take are exceptionally profound - or relatively necessary for the point as to what we are here to do - which is create a system which benefits all. A system of trust. They trust in me to be the best that I can possibly be given that what I get in exchange for all this money THAT I AM PAYING is access to EVERY SINGLE OUNCE OF RAW MATERIAL I NEED TO FURTHER ENHANCE MYSELF AS A PERSON BECAUSE I KNOW I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN CHANGE MY WORLD.

Computer labs, bless them, are simply spaces where some people go to use internet and quasi-work. You also get people going apeshit on assignments because they're on deadline and doing everything last minute because they spent the past two months doing something unimportant like, I don't know? Trying not to go hungry? Worrying about mama at home who is sick? Sick from stress, and worry. She doesn't know how, but she knows she must pay for this degree somehow. But I don't want it any more if my mom has to suffer to meet absa half-way with the loan because my family could only afford to get half a loan from absa. It's the truth. An episode in my life. Okay, I'm not trying not to go hungry, I'm in res. But that's a real life problem for someone who's in digs!

Life doesn't stop happening because there's a degree to get. And I don't feel anybody truly NEEDS one. We're just all conditioned to think we're inadequate without our masters spoonfeeding us information all the time. The conditioning runs deeper than the white man coming to Africa. He himself is a slave. It's really funny. Our struggle goes all the way back to Constantinople. Modern day Istanbul. This is where it was decided that society would be henceforth a slave to the THOUGHT of the man. But we can choose to think otherwise.

Anyway, returning to this present-day reality. I get it. Being black and in debt and being forced to witness the continued suffering of your family who were promised that they would never have to suffer again by a certain party: it's a really shitty deal in exchange for democracy.

Shall we progress you and I? I thank you for continuing through my rant. Please permit me to post it on my blog. I would hate for my views to be eternally lost in Cyberama.

Anyway, lets have coffee under the arch sometime and chat if you fancy. That'd be cool.

Peace. Love. Sunshine.

Lebogang Kote Tlou