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Showing posts from May, 2013

Ukuphuthelwa (Insomnia)

Acknowledgements This next post is an excerpt from a work-shopped production I was cast in last year (2012). The piece was directed wonderfully by Mandla Mbothwe (assisted by Ms Jess Harrison and Themba "Crocodile-Longlegs" Mchunu) - all of whom were a pillar of strength along one of the most challenging journeys of my life. The production brought together an auditorium full of strangers and churned out a close-knit family of strong performers ... my family. To my brother Sisesakhe UThixo Isigqibo Ntabezo, I say thank you for never failing to motivate me along this fool's quest to hopefully becoming the best drunken writer from our lifetime. To my mother, who doesn't know half the things I do here - but trusts that I will not fail to attain a degree. To my best friends Wesley (who never fails to bemuse me), Violet (who never lets me forget who I am and where I come from), Tumi (who I know still loves me - even though I've become estranged) and most sincerely to

Feeling betrayed? Me too.

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Sometimes words are simply not enough to express how one truly feels. My heart feels as though it's been bitten into by a leech and sucked dry. This is why...

Conversations with myself: internal struggles.

Fade in. As I lay in bed on a cloudy Friday morning - beside me a gorgeous friend, inside me a clanging voice desperately trying to grab my attention - I closed my eyes and listened. Lebo:   Morning Lebsie: Hi. Lebo:   Are you still mad at me? Lebsie: Are you still the bastard who ruined my life? ... Awkward silence ... Lebo:   Did you watch that video on the New York Times Gill recommended? Lebsie: Do you remember us watching it? Lebo:   Do you really have to be this hostile so early in the morning? Lebsie: I don't like you. Lebo:   I don't like you either. Three days ago: A forced reunion. Lebo:   Le Awesomish. Lebsie: Yah. Lebo:   It's been a while. Lebsie: It certainly has. ... Awkward silence... ... ... ... Lebo:   You got the girl and lost her - all in two weeks. Lebsie: A right side better than what you've ever done! Kim, Caylin, Tumi, Trudy - you failed every time!!! So fuck off. Lebo:  Why so hostile? Lebsie: I hate you. Leb